Ambivalence
Ambivalence means “Mixed Emotions”
Deconstructing your ambivalence is the key component of the CICT process. It is the method of figuring out what you want to do, and what you should do. It is a very rare exception that in life we have a single program for action (emotion) that is not in some way influenced by a “related” action program. In other words, there is almost never pure desire, pure fear, pure guilt, as much as there is desire mixed with fear, fear mixed with anger, guilt mixed with shame, etc.
“Wanting something and
wanting to want something
are not the same thing.”
Dr. Michael Lukens
Ambivalence means
“Multiple Directions.”
Ambivalence literally means multiple directions. This is not something that a physical entity gets to do — be in two places at once or move in two different directions at once. But this is literally what is happening inside us, in relation to things in our meaningful world. There are countless forms of ambivalence, and the goal is NOT to become unambivalent -- the goal is to know your ambivalence more fully.
Examples of Common Ambivalence Profiles
Desire + Guilt
-
How about desiring something that will make you feel guilty, not for having it, per se, but just for wanting it.
Fear + Shame
-
How about being afraid enough you want to get away and get safe, but shame stops you, so you stay stuck in the fear to avoid the shame.
Desire + Fear
-
Think of how common we have an urge to move in the direction of something we desire, only to chicken out at the last minute. Or We go after something we believe we really want, and we sabotage our success just before (or just after) we get it.
White Paper:
“Hormones Identified & The Deconstruction Of Ambivalence”
Where do I look for answers?
Where is someone supposed to hunt for strategies and solutions to their ambivalence dilemmas? Where does a person go for guidance and insight? Who is going to you figure out all the Who, what when where and WHYs? A Shrink maybe? A coach? Psychics, pastors, prayer, tea leaves, horoscopes, and so many more options are available. But where's the beef? You might be asking yourself, what will give me the knowledge or information or insight or power or whatever it is that I need to get this thing figured out “right”?
Dr. Lukens’ Vote: Learn to understand your emotions and your ambivalence. Do some experimenting in real life, or just do a mental exercise and picture the process of studying each of the five categories in the next section below to see what might yield the most helpful and ‘accurate’ information.
-
1. Hormone Levels
-
2. Other Neurochemicals
-
3. Thoughts
-
4. Feelings
-
5. Your Emotions & Ambivalence
We are not “one-and-done” creatures. We are ambivalent creatures. This is what the mind is for — sorting ourselves out before “willing” the answer, the willful action, the next step, and finally, the final step. The step that “fulfills” the program for action is the last step. The Will, if it has enough “time”, could potentially mull things over forever. Click to the next topic to learn more about the components of the Physics of Emotioning or click the button below to learn about the Deconstruction process, which is a means of sorting yourself out.